E-Motion

The word "emotion" stands for energy in motion. Our feelings produce energy that needs to "move" or be expressed in a healthy way. If not, that energy builds up and cannot be contained. It will release itself in your body in the form of chronic pain, headaches, stomach upset, sleep disruption, sore throats, and tight muscles. Or, it will explode in the form of damaging words.

You can try to suppress emotions by "ignoring" them through distractions: alcohol, drugs, medication, work, relationships, gambling, TV, or Internet addiction. It won't work. You're fighting against a natural law: energy moves.

If you need help expressing your feelings in a healthy way and don't feel safe doing so, please consider these two options. Journaling is a tool that every person can use. This is not a diary of your day, but a special type of writing to help explore the underlying emotions you're experiencing and deal with them.

Second, counseling with a trained professional (versus your friends and family) provides a safe, confidential environment to express feelings and learn how to manage them in a healthy way.

My Kid is an Honor Student!

I'm sure you've seen these bumper stickers placed by proud parents touting the various accomplishments of their children. I think they send a dangerous message which is, my kid is worth bragging about based on performance. When children feel they have to earn their parents' love, it creates an empty pit that no to-do list will ever fill. The effect is damaging to self-worth.

This is an issue I address in 21 Days to Better Parenting. Here's an excerpt on the topic of teaching self-worth: "Children are not more (or less) worthy of love based on behavior, but worthy merely because of their existence. Separating love from performance means your child knows that your love is consistent and not regulated by grades, popularity, capabilities, appearance, or anything else."

So, the next time you want to put a bumper sticker on your car, try this message: