PURPOSE OF DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIPS

In his book, "The Purpose Driven Life," author Rick Warren writes about the purpose of relationships: Isolation breeds deceitfulness; it is easy to fool ourselves into thinking we are mature if there is no one there to challenge us. Real maturity shows up in relationships.

How true! Often I hear from clients who have been hurt by others that they intend to heal their wounds by going into solitude. They don't want to be committed to anyone or anything so that they don't get hurt. Yet, relationships teach us about US. We can't learn such lessons by flying solo through life.

If you have a difficult person in your life right now and you feel like running, WAIT! Perhaps that person is in your life to teach you a valuable lesson about you. If you're not sure how to manage the relationship, I've developed a new resource for you. In my new e-seminar, Dealing with Difficult People: How to Protect Yourself From Professional Button Pushers, you'll learn how to set healthy boundaries, determine when to speak up (or not), and what to say. Living in isolation may be easier, but it's not the answer.

CONVICTION

I find Will Smith's passion infectious. My husband had a chance to interview him in person for his radio show and said the man lights up the room with positive energy, which is his intention.

Here's a video montage of Will Smith Wisdom. My question is not whether or not you agree with him, but rather, are you this clear on what you stand for? Can you state your own beliefs and values with the same level of conviction? Living your life on and with purpose starts with knowing what beliefs are guiding you on the deepest level.

MARATHON MILESTONE

I've committed to running a marathon by actually signing up. On September 25, 2010 I'll be running in the Road Runner Akron (OH) Marathon. Now, I'm sharing my goal publicly- there's no going back now! Feel free to ask me how my training is going (which includes keeping away from the sweets I love).

The registration was interesting because it asked me to predict my completion time. By being forced to put in the number, I was setting expectations for myself. The first expectation is that I will finish, and the second is the time in my head. Now I have a self-imposed goal to meet and or beat!

On February 12, I'll be attending a lecture at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. Steve Win is the speaker. He's a 50-state and 7-continent marathoner. Talk about goal setting. After completing his first two marathons, he learned he had cancer. Wow. Stories like his remind me that I have no reason in the world not to get up every day and live life to the fullest.

Have you run a marathon? I'd love to hear about your experiences. Please share your thoughts on my blog!

MIKE WALLACE'S DEPRESSION STORY

Thank you to 60 Minutes reporter Mike Wallace for sharing the most powerful story he has ever reported - that of his 20-year battle with depression. PBS just wrapped up a series on mental health in which Wallace and his wife Mary are interviewed (link below).

His story will be helpful to many in multiple ways. First, he's honest about how bad it got. He contemplated and attempted suicide. His wife Mary found him and helped saved his life. Wallace discusses how both drug and talk therapy helped pull him through his illness. As a mental health counselor, I can't emphasize this point enough. Medication can give you a window of opportunity, but does not help you change your behavior. Wallace states how important regular exercise and social contact (behavioral changes) have helped him stay symptom-free for the last 15 years.

Mary Wallace, his wife, also shares how difficult it is to be the spouse of a person who is suffering from any mental illness and she gives great advice: "It's not your fault. Go get help yourself."

Here's the video link: Mike Wallace on Depression. If you or someone you care about is experiencing what feels like a dark, inescapable cloud please, watch this story and then get help. Depression is treatable! To learn more about the signs of depression, visit http://www.depression-screening.org.

PERCEPTION

PERCEPTION . . . Something To Think About. . .

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule. 4 minutes later: The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk. 6 minutes: A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again. 10 minutes: A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly. 45 minutes: The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32. 1 hour: He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition. No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100. This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: *In a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? *Do we stop to appreciate it? *Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context? One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made. How many other things are we missing?

GIRLS ON THE RUN!

Susan with her daughter, Gabby before the race and with the team after finishing!

"I did it!" That's what 10-year-old Juli shouted as she crossed the finish line of her first 5K (3.1 miles.) I don't know who was prouder of her accomplishments - Juli, her parents, or me -her coach.

Ten weeks ago, I began training nine 5th grade girls twice a week as part of a national program called Girls on the Run. The program teaches girls about healthy body image, choices, and self-esteem through running. We were joined by about 200 other girls from local communities who also took part in the program.

When we first began, my girls could barely get through a mile without huffing and puffing. To watch them cross the finish line in Cleveland's Fall Classic was a total thrill for me. Girls who barely said a word for the first five weeks of training were giving high fives and cheering each other on. Their faces were shining and their eyes brimming with confidence. It just goes to show you what good it does to give ourselves goals we're not quite sure we can achieve, until we do.

PLEASE ACCEPT THIS GIFT

The Halloween candy hasn't had a chance to go stale and the Christmas decorations are up! Wow, this year has been long is some ways and fast in others. The economy has affected many of you, I know. Businesses every where took a hit, yet we're still plugging along.

I want to give a sincere thank you to all of you who have continued to do business with me in one way or another through this time. Some of you have personally called me to let me know that when business picks up again, you will use my services. Now that's loyalty! Thank you.

If you are wanting to thank others who have continued to do business with you, I want to help. Tips booklets are a valuable yet economical way give a personalized gift. A perfect topic for just about every one at this time of year is Building Resiliency. Or perhaps other topics such as Positive First Impression, Dealing with Difficult People, or Secrets of Successful Presentations better suit your needs.

By ordering ten or more, the price drops to just $2.50 each. There's room on the cover or inside to add a personalized sticker or note. And, here's the best part. As my gift to you, for every ten you order, I will give you two more for free! Just place your order through my website, then send me an email mentioning my blog offer, and I'll make sure you receive your bonus booklets.

Thanks to all, and I hope this helps makes the end of the year a little bit easier for you!