UPCOMING MEDIA APPEARANCES!

The holiday season is upon us, and for some that means spending way too much time with annoying relatives! If that's your story, tune in Monday November 19th to Cleveland's Good Company (channel 3, 10:00-11:00 a.m.). I'll be offering survival tips on managing the pressures of extended family.

If you need more than tips and want to talk about reducing your stress levels, consider a few counseling sessions. You can make an appointment to see me in Independence by calling Lakeshore Educational & Counseling Services at 800-600-5327.

On Friday December 14th, I'll be joining my husband once again for the Q104 morning show (5:30-10:00 a.m. EST). Tune in live or online. We'd love to hear from you!

Take care,

Susan

PARENTS, ATTEND THIS FREE COLLEGE & CAREER PLANNING SEMINAR

If you're the parent of a teenager headed for college, trade school, or the military I highly suggest you attend the Parent Education Series Wednesday November 14, 7:00-9:00 PM at Cuyahoga Valley Career Center in Brecksville.

It's free, but you have to register online or by calling 440-746-8115. The organizers have a terrific line up of topics and I'll be speaking on Developing Self-Reliant Students. It's perfect for helping you and your child think ahead for those last couple years in high school and beyond.

Hope to see you there!

Susan

FOCUS ON THIS

For readers of my Communication Tip Sheet, scroll down for the debrief:

What you focus on expands. This is especially apparent when we’re upset with someone. It’s as if we put on glasses that filter out everything but annoying traits that we compile to make our (distorted) case.

Instead, what would happen if we focused on what’s going right, or solutions versus problems? This does not mean problems should be ignored. It’s important we acknowledge situations that need to be changed. But, the only way change comes is by focusing on it.

We are constantly blocking out helpful information because we are so focused on supporting our pre-determined story. Test yourself. Watch this video of students playing basketball and count the number of times the white-shirt team passes the ball. IMPORTANT: Watch the video before reading any further!

DEBRIEF: When you were busy counting the number of passes, did you notice the person dressed in a gorilla suit enter the picture? After beating his chest several times, he exits. If you did, congratulations! Most people miss the whole thing.

If right now you're saying, "What gorilla?" Watch it again! Then look around. What else might you be missing?

LESSONS FROM THE GRAND CANYON

The searing pain inmy calves should disappear in a few more days, but my memories of hiking the Grand Canyon will last a lifetime. What an awesome, inspiring trip! The scenery was breathtaking, but I was just as inspired by the company of the three women who hiked with me ranging in age from 53-34. Three of us are moms and one of them, Jen, is pregnant with her fourth! (Yes, she had doctor approval.)


At times, I laughed so hard I peed my pants, which is not good when there's no bathrooms for the next five miles. We laughed at jokes that couldn't possibly translate to anyone but us as we found out when we tried to explain them to our significant others. Finally, we settled on, "You had to be there." This is how a deep sense of bonding is created. We physically and mentally conquered something together. That feeling comes anytime we can "get to the other side" of a challenge with someone, even when it's a rough patch in a relationship.


The trip meant something different to each of us. I've been in a playgroup with Kathy (far right) since our kids were two years old. When I asked her why she wanted to hike the Grand Canyon she told me she had nothing to prove. "I knew I could do it, that wasn't it. I just wanted to find out what would happen when I did." That's Kathy, ever curious! So, what happened? "It hurt!"

Jen (far left) is Kathy's cousin and I will be always be thankful for her for making us slow down, stop, and take pictures. She would stop and say, "Look! Are you appreciating this? We came down from there!" In addition to keeping us entertained with wacky family stories, she also put the trip in perspective: "On other vacations I get home and return to the grind immediately. This time, when I feel like complaining about holding everyone's coat, or when I'm tired from wiping noses, I'll always know that I made it down to the canyon and back, and nothing could ever be that challenging."

Andrea and I have been friends ever since meeting at a writer's workshop seven years ago. Just like a great writer, her answer about the trip's significance was succinct: "It reminds me how capable I am." We all felt that way after making it across the suspension bridge, crossing the Colorado river, one mile to go before reaching Phantom Ranch.

I lost my mother to a debilitating stroke when I was 12-years-old. I learned the hard way that time stands still for no one. For me, this trip reminds me simply that I am alive.

REGISTER NOW FOR PARENTING SEMINARS

It happens like clockwork every year: School starts and about a month later the emails and calls start rolling in about Mean Girls. Friendships have already been tested, territory established, and tears shed (and that's just from the parents). If you are the parent of a daughter, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I've scheduled two workshops to help provide solutions:

Mean Girls: Helping Your Daughter Develop Positive Friendships
Tuesday October 28, 2007 6:30-8:30 PM

Full Esteem Ahead! Building and Maintaining Girls' Self-Esteem
Tuesday October 30, 2007 6:30-8:30 PM

Both workshops will be held in Independence, the same place where I will offer my program for girls ages 7-12 called Circle of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. A new session starts October 28-November 18.

For more information and to register, call Lakeshore Educational & Counseling Services at (440) 963-0402 or 800-600-5327. Space is limited, so reserve your spot now!

151 is the New 43!

YES! I DID IT! That's what I was thinking as I crossed the finish line of my first half-marathon. As a novice runner, this was a huge accomplishment for me. It was even more special to have my husband and daughter there cheering me on.

151 was my race number, and no matter what, I'll always remember crossing that finish line as one of my benchmarks for my 43rd year. Just like everyone, I experience challenges and frustrations. If I ever feel like I can't handle them, I'll have this memory to remind me what I can accomplish.

I want to encourage you to do the same. Create a movie in your mind of your successes. Make it as vivid as possible! Play that movie anytime you hit a rut to remind yourself what you're made of.

When I crossed the finish line into a sea of people, I heard my daughter Gabby yell, "Mom!" and I instantly cried. This one is in my heart forever!

What are you most proud of? Let me know, I'd love to hear your stories.

Take care,

Susan

My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy!

Today's topic on Good Company was preparing college students for potential roommate issues. See the video here.

My advice for students (and parents) is to EXPECT conflict - yes, expect it. Even if you are planning to room with your best friend. Disagreements are natural and in fact, it teaches you the skill of resolution. It's the student who falls apart at the first fight, or keeps it all inside, that gets into trouble.

I interviewed hundreds of students for my book (and talked to plenty as a college counselor). I wrote a book and a site specifically on this topic which you may find useful. You'll find it at www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com.

Be sure and read my free tips on rooming with a best friend, how to live with your opposite, and questions to ask a new roommate.

If you have roommate stories (good or bad) share them here!

Take care,

Susan