G-MAN

In loving tribute to my father, Charles Richard St. John, who died April 18, 2010. This was first published in Chief of Police Magazine. To read the entire essay, click on the link below.


The first time I ever saw my dad cry, I was eight years old. It was Father’s Day. I had made sandwich boards out of construction paper tied with yarn and placed them over the backs of our two unwilling toy poodles, Muffy and Paddy. One sign read HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! The other announced PRESENTS ON THE COUCH! I opened the door to the bedroom where he was sleeping and shoved in the message mules with clear instructions to prance in front of him. Instead, they immediately scurried under the bed and ruined the whole grand parade. I don’t remember the present I gave my dad, but it made him cry. This fascinated and scared me at the same time. I had never seen my father cry before. I didn’t know he could. Whenever I cried, he would hold me, and I would breathe in his scent, a mixture of Aqua Velva aftershave and Brylcreme. His brown eyes would meet mine, and he’d stare into a miniature version of his own face. I felt safe. But he seemed too big for me to hug him like that, so I didn’t know what to do. Finally, I asked what was wrong. “You make me so happy,” he said.

I’ve seen my dad cry only four times since: when I was 16 and planned a surprise birthday party for him, when my mother died, when I got married, and the last time in the middle of dinner while he was telling a story about work. That time he cried the most. Each time this took me by surprise just like the first time. He seemed to be caught off guard too. It’s rare to catch an F.B.I agent with his guard down. Read more (Under Features/Essays).

Standing with my Dad just before getting to ride in the Good Year Blimp, a goal he had ever since childhood. I was so happy to help him achieve it at age 82!

SELF CARE REFORM

While much has been said regarding health care reform, I want to promote self care reform. Take the government out of this for a moment. What are you doing to gain or maintain your good health? This is much different than asking what will you do if or when you get sick.

We have solid research that supports that eating nutritionally sound food, exercising daily, sleeping 6-8 hours a night, managing stress, and maintaining healthy relationships will keep us healthy. Yet, few people follow this preventative prescription. What if doctors and mental health professionals were used more for maintaining health versus crisis management? I look forward to the day when I work in a health care system and not a sickness maintenance system.

As a counselor, I for one would like to do a lot more work in empowering people to gain and maintain health! Let's get proactive versus reactive. It costs less and you'll feel a whole lot better. Remember, if you're down - you're not out! Learn more about how to Bounce Forward.

HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT

I just learned of an interesting program being offered in Brecksville (OH) this week called, "Hidden in Plain Sight." If you're the parents of teens, it might be a very worthwhile evening! Here are the details:

This is an interactive workshop that walks a parent through a life-size replica of a teenager’s bedroom, discussing high risk indicators such as substance abuse, underage drinking, eating disorders, and many others.

When: March 23, 2010

Time: Come early (6:30 pm) and take a walk through the interactive sample bedroom

Parents: The parent program begins at 7:00 pm and lasts until 8:30 pm

Teens: A separate youth program will be offered for teens who attend with their parents

Where: Brecksville United Methodist Church

65 Public Square

Brecksville, OH 44141

WISE ADVICE

"Problems do not go away. They must be worked through or else they remain, forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit."

M. Scott Peck, psychiatrist and author of the best-selling "The Road Less Traveled."

PURPOSE OF DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIPS

In his book, "The Purpose Driven Life," author Rick Warren writes about the purpose of relationships: Isolation breeds deceitfulness; it is easy to fool ourselves into thinking we are mature if there is no one there to challenge us. Real maturity shows up in relationships.

How true! Often I hear from clients who have been hurt by others that they intend to heal their wounds by going into solitude. They don't want to be committed to anyone or anything so that they don't get hurt. Yet, relationships teach us about US. We can't learn such lessons by flying solo through life.

If you have a difficult person in your life right now and you feel like running, WAIT! Perhaps that person is in your life to teach you a valuable lesson about you. If you're not sure how to manage the relationship, I've developed a new resource for you. In my new e-seminar, Dealing with Difficult People: How to Protect Yourself From Professional Button Pushers, you'll learn how to set healthy boundaries, determine when to speak up (or not), and what to say. Living in isolation may be easier, but it's not the answer.

CONVICTION

I find Will Smith's passion infectious. My husband had a chance to interview him in person for his radio show and said the man lights up the room with positive energy, which is his intention.

Here's a video montage of Will Smith Wisdom. My question is not whether or not you agree with him, but rather, are you this clear on what you stand for? Can you state your own beliefs and values with the same level of conviction? Living your life on and with purpose starts with knowing what beliefs are guiding you on the deepest level.

MARATHON MILESTONE

I've committed to running a marathon by actually signing up. On September 25, 2010 I'll be running in the Road Runner Akron (OH) Marathon. Now, I'm sharing my goal publicly- there's no going back now! Feel free to ask me how my training is going (which includes keeping away from the sweets I love).

The registration was interesting because it asked me to predict my completion time. By being forced to put in the number, I was setting expectations for myself. The first expectation is that I will finish, and the second is the time in my head. Now I have a self-imposed goal to meet and or beat!

On February 12, I'll be attending a lecture at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. Steve Win is the speaker. He's a 50-state and 7-continent marathoner. Talk about goal setting. After completing his first two marathons, he learned he had cancer. Wow. Stories like his remind me that I have no reason in the world not to get up every day and live life to the fullest.

Have you run a marathon? I'd love to hear about your experiences. Please share your thoughts on my blog!