Run Like a Girl!

You know that feeling you get when you achieve a BIG goal? Part disbelief, part celebration, part panic because now you need a new goal? Well, I'm still riding high on that feeling after completing my first marathon in Akron, Ohio in 5:21.

I ran in memory of my father, who died on April 18th. The last time I spoke with him was by phone three days earlier, on my 46th birthday. He called to wish me a good day, but in retrospect, I understand he was calling to say, goodbye. At the moment he called, I was standing in the bookstore with a marathon training guide in my hand. We discussed my goal and he offered his enthusiastic support, as always. I couldn't think of a better way to honor his life than to dedicate this moment to him. I ran it just the way he'd want me to: smiled the entire time, greeted and thanked all the supporters along the way, and appreciated my finish no matter how long it took me.

So this one's for you, Dad! Thanks for encouraging me to live life to the fullest, and may this serve as inspiration to others to do the same.

Standing with my 11-year old daughter at the start. After telling her that it would take me at least five hours to finish, she asked, "What are you going to do for five hours?" Ha! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other...

20 miles in. Hurting, but still smiling!

Take Back Your Lunch

How did you spend your last lunch hour? Were you hovered over your desk, scarfing food down in ten minutes? Maybe you skipped it altogether. Any chance, you took a break from work, ate something nutritious and took a short walk? According to author Tony Schwartz, the last option is unlikely. He says we skip lunch to be more productive, but the result is just the opposite.

I've been a fan of Schwartz's work since he wrote The Power of Full Engagement. Now he has a new book called The Way We're Working Isn't Working in which he continues his agenda of teaching readers how our minds and bodies really operate. In short, working harder does not equal better work.

His research supports other current findings about how to optimize brain power (check out Brain Rules by John Medina). Both authors note that our bodies have a natural cycle that makes us tired between 1-3 PM each day. That is so true for me! The remedy? Take a cat nap -and yes - there are companies that actually supply and promote sleeping pods so employees can recharge. Since I'm self-employed, I can take a nap whenever I want, and most days I grab some shut-eye sometime during this window. I don't feel lazy or guilty at all. To me, it's crazy that we have access to amazing details about how our brain functions, and then we ignore all the findings with old habits.

Schwartz tried to start a movement this summer to get people to take back their lunch hour. It was a clever way to promote his book, but it's also a good idea. Be brave! Take a stand. Or, a nap.

Nightmare Roommates!

Thinking about saving a few bucks by taking in a roommate? Or, maybe you have a son or daughter heading off to college and you're worried about who the roommate may be? Check out this article on MSN Real Estate, Nightmare Roommates for tips from my book, My Roommate is Driving Me Crazy!

BOOMERANG KIDS

When adult children move back home, it’s tough for everybody. If all goes well, your children act responsibly and are grateful for your help in getting them back on their feet. The key phrase is, “back on their feet.” In other words, the idea is that their time home is limited and they are doing all they can to return to the real world of independence. It’s when the opposite happens that a different type of help may be necessary.

Yesterday on Good Company, I discussed what to say if your adult children have turned into freeloaders. Watch the video here. It’s hard and disappointing because no parent wants to believe their children would take advantage of them, but some do. If that’s your situation, here’s an example of a conversation you must have with your son or daughter:

“I love you so much and I know you want to live on your own. I want that for you too. I realize I’ve been holding you back by doing too much for you. Because I believe you’re capable, I’m going to help you differently than I have in the past. I’m giving you a clear deadline in moving out (or other requirements like rent). If you’re not ready to meet these requirements, I trust you’ll find a different place to live at that time.”

Remember, when you do for your children what they should be doing for yourself, you’re reinforcing the message that you don’t believe they are capable.

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MODEL MOMENT

In 1978, all the boys I had crushes on had one of two posters in their lockers: Farrah Fawcett and Cheryl Tiegs. I was already a gawky middle schooler with braces, glasses, and greasy skin so these constant reminders of the ideal body did nothing for my self-esteem.

Imagine my surprise when I learned that THE Cheryl Tiegs was booked as a guest on the Q104 morning show in Cleveland the week I was filling in as co-host. Talk about intimidating! But, guess what? Tiegs is now 60-some, and she was about to see one of her sons graduate from high school. We talked about parenting, how to manage your hair in humidity, and what she thought of reality TV.

I was pleased to see she has allowed herself to age naturally, without any apparent plastic surgery or botox. You don't get many chances in life to re-do a 7th grade horror story, but this one turned out just fine!

ECUADOR: FROM PAGE TO PURPOSE

Reading can take you places you've never been before, or inspire you to go exploring for yourself. My trip to Ecuador began by reading about someone else's adventure. Rita Golden Gelman is the author of, Tales of a Female Nomad. She wrote about visiting the Galapagos Islands - a place I had never considered visiting before I sat down on a snowy December day and began reading.

With the help of two separate tour companies, Boundless Journeys (Galapagos Island tour) and Rustic Travel (volunteer vacations), I found myself on a plane to South America four months later. Here's a sampling of what I saw:

The obligatory "equator" picture (although researchers have now discovered the true equator line is several yards from here). I'm proud of this picture because of the two buses I took to get to this spot, despite not speaking any Spanish.

View from a tram ride in Quito, the capital of Ecuador. At the top, we reached 13,000 ft elevation. The view was amazing, but even more amazing was watching some rogue mountain bikers (with no helmets) ride their bikes down this mountain!
Each of the Galapagos Islands has completely different terrain and wildlife. One of the best hours I spent was with my daughter, here, watching sea lions surf. It was truly mesmerizing.
One of the islands we toured had so many iguanas, you had to work very hard not to step on them while walking. It felt like the Land Before Time.
We stayed with a host family while in Quito. Here's their daughter, Maria - a real life
Dora the Explorer!

Volunteering at an orphanage. These kids were adorable and so appreciative.

Dental care is so important for good health.
Here, the kids brush their teeth and spit on the ground.

Nap time.

G-MAN

In loving tribute to my father, Charles Richard St. John, who died April 18, 2010. This was first published in Chief of Police Magazine. To read the entire essay, click on the link below.


The first time I ever saw my dad cry, I was eight years old. It was Father’s Day. I had made sandwich boards out of construction paper tied with yarn and placed them over the backs of our two unwilling toy poodles, Muffy and Paddy. One sign read HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! The other announced PRESENTS ON THE COUCH! I opened the door to the bedroom where he was sleeping and shoved in the message mules with clear instructions to prance in front of him. Instead, they immediately scurried under the bed and ruined the whole grand parade. I don’t remember the present I gave my dad, but it made him cry. This fascinated and scared me at the same time. I had never seen my father cry before. I didn’t know he could. Whenever I cried, he would hold me, and I would breathe in his scent, a mixture of Aqua Velva aftershave and Brylcreme. His brown eyes would meet mine, and he’d stare into a miniature version of his own face. I felt safe. But he seemed too big for me to hug him like that, so I didn’t know what to do. Finally, I asked what was wrong. “You make me so happy,” he said.

I’ve seen my dad cry only four times since: when I was 16 and planned a surprise birthday party for him, when my mother died, when I got married, and the last time in the middle of dinner while he was telling a story about work. That time he cried the most. Each time this took me by surprise just like the first time. He seemed to be caught off guard too. It’s rare to catch an F.B.I agent with his guard down. Read more (Under Features/Essays).

Standing with my Dad just before getting to ride in the Good Year Blimp, a goal he had ever since childhood. I was so happy to help him achieve it at age 82!