WILL POWER

I'll be filling in as co-host on my husband's Cleveland radio show this month (Q104). As much as I look forward to "playing" on the air, timing is everything. I was NOT there in November when one of my favorite actors, Will Smith, was in studio - darn!

Will Smith with Cleveland's Q104 Morning Show Host, Allan Fee

I love this guy. His appeal for me is not so much his acting, but his positive spirit. If we could catch a little of this man's positive outlook, there's nothing we couldn't accomplish! He is the epitome of high emotional intelligence. He is very aware of his likability factor, how he affects others, and how to share his contagious spirit.

But, he's not just all about positive thinking - he's a man with a plan. When it came to transitioning from a TV star to making movies, he and his agent researched the top-ten grossing movies of all time. Here's what they found:

• 10 out of 10 had special effects
• 9 out of 10 had creatures
• 8 out of 10 had a love story

So, Smith set out to make movies that included these three proven success factors. Remember, "Independence Day" and "Men in Black"? There's a huge lesson here. When it comes to the field in which you want to be a success, document what other successful people do and DO IT. Seems so simple, but I find many clients get stuck trying to recreate the wheel. Someone, somewhere has walked before you. Find the most best example you can of the success you desire and become it.

Ask yourself, how does a successful person in my field speak? Dress? Behave? Think? What habits does he have? Who does she surround herself with? What books or education does this person possess? You get the idea. This applies to anything you want to achieve: healthy relationships, weight management, personal satisfaction, or career success.

For a little added inspiration, here is one of my favorite interviews with Will Smith when Steve Kroft profiled him on 60 Minutes in 2007. Part one contains a great story about a brick wall - how would you have responded to this challenge? Part two discusses his financial blunders and subsequent rise into movie stardom.

WORKSHOPS ON DEMAND

Those who have heard me speak know that I believe conflict can foster creativity. If you never had a problem to solve, what else would inspire you to come up with new ideas? For some months I have been hearing from clients and individuals that they wanted to book or attend certain workshops of mine, but couldn't. Either I was speaking in a part of the country that required too much travel, or training budgets were too tight. I wanted to come up with a way that people who requested training could still receive it, but how?

I finally hit upon an idea that I believe is affordable and convenient. I have been busy creating a new training option I'm calling E-Seminars. Very soon you'll be able to choose from a number of my most requested topics and download the seminar right to your own computer!

E-Seminars will consist of a 60-minute podcast (MP3) and workbook (PDF) that you can download and listen to at your convenience. You'll be able to review and revisit the material at any time by saving it to your computer. And, here's the best news! Each E-Seminar is affordably priced at only $25!

The first E-Seminar to be offered will be one for parents called, BFF! (Except When We're Not). A Parent's Guide to Helping Girls to Develop Healthy Friendships. Visit my website, www.susanfee.com, for additional titles each month. If there is a particular topic you want produced as an E-Seminar, please let me know!

BAIL OUT OFFERS GOOD NEWS FOR MENTAL HEALTH!

Americans are suffering plenty of stress these days due to Wall Street's financial turmoil. It's either ironic or tremendously good timing that included in Congress' bail out package is the passing of the Mental Health Parity bill which offers the same coverage for mental health needs as medical. Talk about tenacity - it took 12 years of work to get it passed! Read more from the American Counseling Association:


"After many long years of effort, ACA and other mental health advocates have gained the enactment of strong federal mental health and addictive disorder parity legislation. On Friday, October 3rd, the House of Representatives passed a financial rescue and tax policy bill, including landmark mental health and addictive disorder parity protections.

The section of the legislation on parity--entitled the Paul Wellstone and Pete Domenici Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act of 2008--will require most private sector health plans to provide insurance coverage for mental and addictive disorder services on the same terms and conditions as other types of care. The parity provisions had been included in a package of highly popular tax policy extensions approved recently by wide margins in both the House and Senate, but that had been stalled due to disagreements over the extent to which they should be paid for. The tax extenders, including the parity language, were combined with the financial rescue package passed by the Senate on Wednesday."

If you are suffering in these turbulent times, PLEASE don't hesitate to seek help from a licensed, qualified therapist. We are all working on our coping skills right now. If you have no idea where to start, always begin by taking care of yourself, then reaching out to others.

You'll find practical steps for dealing with adversity in my booklet, "Building Resiliency: 68 Coping Strategies for Surviving & Thriving During Adversity."

BULLYING INVISIBLE TO ADULT EYES

The new school year has been underway for about a week and the bullying has begun. It doesn't take long for the bully-target relationships to become established. Some of the bullying will appear invisible to adult eyes because it will happen online or in the form of text messages. For girls, the bullying can be more subtle - just with an eye-roll or exclusion.

I'm pleased to be the keynote speaker for a conference on Cyberbullying and Relational Aggression taking place Saturday September 27 at the Lorain C.C.C. Spitzer Conference Center (Lorain, OH). Campus Impact is putting on the helpful event for educators, therapists, social workers, and anyone else concerned about this topic. Visit their web site to register or call 440-864-2011.

If you have questions or situations you'd like me to address during my presentation, please feel free to post them here! Also, consider starting a group for girls to teach them how to build and maintain healthy friendships with a copy of the Circle of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Facilitator's Guide.

EYE CANDY

Mixing children and glass may not seem like a good idea unless you're renowned glass blower Dale Chihuly. I came across this amazing work called "Eye Candy" while visiting the Indianapolis Children's Museum. It's visible from all four floors of the museum where interesting facts are posted about the piece, like how it's dusted (very carefully...)

On the ground level, Chihuly found a way to actually make his art interactive by creating stations for kids to replicate the structure with similarly shaped and colored plastic pieces.



On the wall nearby is a framed copy of Chihuly's original rough draft notes when conceiving this piece. What impressed me so was that he not only imagined the art work, he also imagined how people would react to it. His drawings include kids shouting, "Cool!" and "Wow!" and "I want to try that!"

What a great lesson for all of his when considering having a conversation, pitching a new idea, or creating a presentation: Consider the affect you want to have on others, then create the work that will inspire that reaction. So often, I think we just concentrate on what we want to say, with little thought of how others may respond.

After spending four hours at this museum hearing kids squeal with delight and parents look up in amazement, I think Dale Chihuly has the process right. Everything he imagined came true, at least during my visit. All I can say is, "Wow! I want to try that!"

SUSAN'S SUMMER READING LIST

There are so many ways to get information these days, why bother reading a book? Because it's good for your brain. Just like muscles, the brain benefits from a good workout and reading is more of a challenge than processing images or speech. You have the time to pause, imagine, infer meaning, and process insight. All this mental activity will help keep your memory sharp, your learning capacity nimble, and your mind hardier as you age.

So what are you waiting for? Pick up book and start working that brain! Here are few of my favorites. I'll be adding to the list as the summer progresses as I have a ton of new reads waiting to be devoured. Please post your favorites too. Let's start a thought revolution!

Sticking with the brain theme, I love this new book by John Medina. He offers 12 "rules" of the brain from the latest research that will help in every day life - like why you remember some people's presentations and not others, how stress really affects us, and the truth about multi-tasking. He makes some bold suggestions about how to overhaul our school system too.

A related book is The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine. If you've ever wondered why women (and teen girls) behave the way they do, you'll find the answers here!

Think you know what makes you happy? Think again! The author challenges every long-held conviction about what we think will make us feel fulfilled. This is not a how-to book about how to find happiness, he leaves that up to you, but this book may make you steer your search in a different direction.
If you've heard me speak about making a positive first impression, you've heard me quote this book. Gladwell offers compelling examples from business, fire fighting, police work, health care, and even personal relationships about the way we make snap judgments. He also wrote The Tipping Point, another thought-provoking book about marketing.

Although this book has been out for ten years, it's still every bit as relevant today. (In fact, Gladwell quotes it often in Blink.) If you've ever doubted your gut instincts, this book will prove how to trust those little red flags.

I love memoirs and I picked this one up quite by accident. I'm so glad I did. Haven Kimmel's writing is hysterical and touching. Here's what Publisher's Weekly said: It's a cliche‚ to say that a good memoir reads like a well-crafted work of fiction, but Kimmel's smooth, impeccably humorous prose evokes her childhood as vividly as any novel. Born in 1965, she grew up in Mooreland, Ind., a place that by some "mysterious and powerful mathematical principle" perpetually retains a population of 300, a place where there's no point learning the street names because it's just as easy to say, "We live at the four-way stop sign." Hers is less a formal autobiography than a collection of vignettes comprising the things a small child would remember: sick birds, a new bike, reading comics at the drugstore, the mean old lady down the street.

On my can't- wait-to-read-list is the new release from David Sedaris, "When in Engulfed in Flames." I've read every one of his books - so, so, funny. If you have yet to encounter his work, , you're in for a ride!

THANKS NACM!

A big thanks to the National Association of Credit Management for having me back to speak at your annual Credit Congress. As always, your group is delightful to work with and your members are GREAT workshop participants.

If any of the folks in my sessions have follow up questions, post them here. I'm excited to hear of your progress as you practice new techniques. Remember to join me for my teleseminar in June on "Dealing With Difficult People."

All the best,
Susan

SEE YOU IN LOUISVILLE!

(Photos: Brian Ebner/Optic Nerve) Speaking at the 2006
Athletic Business Conference


Hi to all the members of NACM who will be attending the national congress in Louisville. I'll be speaking on May 21 and I'd love to see you there! Here are my session times:

8:30-10:00 am Facilitation Skills
1:30-3:00 pm Secret of Change: Making the Emotional Connection

Email me questions ahead of time if you'd like. Or, if you'd like to set up individual coaching on any topic, I'm taking appointments 5/20 and 5/21 in the evening.

UP, UP AND AWAY!

Yes! We did it! The skies cleared, the wind died down, and the Goodyear Blimp sailed into the sky yesterday with my dad in the co-pilot seat. When I saw him sit down and put on the headset, I was grinning and crying at the same time. I said a million thank yous in my head to answered prayers, to all who made the flight possible, and to my father for all he has done for me. What an amazing feeling to give something back to him.

Our whole family was able to go and we were joined by another couple. The man was 91 and had waited two years for his flight. It just goes to show that having life-long dreams keeps you young.

Watching the blimp coming out of the hangar.

My dad - 82 and proud of it!

Preparing for the six passengers to load for our one-hour flight.

My dad getting ready to cross one off his life list!

An unexpected bonus - Allan and Gabby were able to go up too! Thanks Goodyear! (Gabby was a little nervous, can you tell?)

MOVE OVER MEAN GIRLS!

After months of writing, editing, planning and unexpected delays, my new Circle of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Facilitator's Guide has finally arrived! Like the anticipation of an overdue baby, I am thrilled to finally have it in my hands, and even more excited to get it into yours!

It's filled with over 65 small group activities to help girls ages 8-14 develop confidence, positive friendships, and emotional resiliency. The exercises are designed to help girls learn more about themselves and gain empathy for others.

If you work with girls in any capacity, from classrooms to camps to scouts - I believe you'll find the guide to be worthwhile. Plus, I'm offering one year of free support consultation to implement the ideas - so look out mean girls! A new dialogue is about to begin.

ARE YOU SATISFIED WITH YOUR CAREER?

Do you wake up every day excited about your job? Or, do you feel like you're just earning a paycheck until you figure out what you really want to do? I believe every person has unique strengths. The most satisfied individuals know and value their strengths, and build a career and lifestyle around them.

If you're feeling stuck or dissatisfied with your career, join me Tuesday February 26 1:00-4:30 PM at the Holiday Inn in Independence, OH for my workshop, Strength-Based Career Management. You'll learn why it's a waste of time trying to be "well-rounded" and how to re-discover what you've been good at for a long, long time but may not have had the courage to acknowledge.

This program is sponsored by the Cleveland Chapter of the National Association of Credit Managers and is OPEN TO THE PUBLIC. The fee is $55 . To register call (440) 871-7878. Feel free to post your questions here pre-program. Hope to see you there!