Paul Newman Eyes

Years ago, I remember watching a 60 Minutes feature on Paul Newman. Leslie Stahl was the interviewer and she began the produced package with his film clips, philanthropy work with his food products that help fund his camp for kids, Hole in the Wall. She mentioned his long marriage to Joanne Woodward and his interest in car racing.

Then the interview began. Her first question was about his strikingly blue eyes. He became noticeably agitated and cold. She asked him what was wrong, thinking I suppose, she just had given a compliment. I never forgot his response: "I had nothing to do with my eye color." He went on to explain that he does not deserve praise for something he didn't earn. Wow.

When you think about the praise we give kids or employees, it's often about things they never earned! For instance, my daughter has olive-colored skin. She often receives complimentary remarks on this, but what is the effect? She could start to believe her self-worth is tied to an external measurement - something she has no control over. This is a self-esteem killer.

Praise process, effort, and progress. Give God credit for the rest.

Learn more on raising self-esteem in girls.