The Non-Apology

So sorry Gilbert Gottfried, I do not accept your apology regarding your insensitive jokes about Japan. That is if you really apologized in the first place. Did you?

Here's what you've been quoted as saying on Twitter: "I sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by my attempt at humor regarding the tragedy in Japan." So if I wasn't offended, you're not sorry as you didn't really do anything wrong? You're just sorry at me being offended?

Here's your follow up: "I meant no disrespect, and my thoughts are with the victims and their families." Hmm. It seems to me that the more explaining and justifying you have to provide, the less sincere the apology. This statement is all about you - what about the impact of your words on others?

Just to be clear, I'm all about forgiveness. Heaven knows, I've needed it plenty of times in my own life and will many times more. Yet, there's a lack of accountability here. A sincere apology has three important steps:

1. Own your behavior without blaming others, justifying, or explaining. Just own it.
2. Acknowledge the impact of your words and actions had on others. Make no assumptions, and no minimizing the feelings of others.
3. Commit to changing your future behavior and then do so consistently.

Try again Mr. Gottfried. Please. To save you some time, I'll list some other non-apology statements to avoid:

"Sorry you feel that way."
"If I did anything wrong, I'm sorry."
"Sorry, but I didn't mean it."
"Sorry this incident occurred."
"Sorry, I had no idea you were so sensitive."

More tips on Overcoming a Negative Impression.