Parents are probably familiar with the terms "bully" and "target" but the role we really need to focus on is "bystander." Bystanders comprise 90% of the kids in school. They are the ones witnessing bullying taking place, but don't speak up. There are various reasons for their silence: fear, lack of skills, or their parents have coached them to mind their own business and not get involved. It's time to get involved.Dateline NBC produced an excellent segment on bullying highlighting the power of the bystander. As soon as one kid speaks up, others gather the courage to join him or her. It's a slow turn of the tide, but eventually peer pressure can have a positive effect by inhibiting bullying behaviors.
It's imperative that bystanders learn skills to speak up. Not every kid is equipped to take on the bully, but they can reach out to the target and remove that student from a bad situation. This one act will end negative behavior faster than trying to teach empathy to a child who is bullying.
If you need help in teaching these skills, here are a few resources. First, a good counselor can coach children in assertive communication skills. If you have a daughter, I have several resources to build positive social skills including an E-Seminar, DVD, and CD.
For teachers and mental health professionals living in NE Ohio, please join me on May 11 at Lorain Community College. I'll be teaching solution-focused strategies for bullying along side the staff of Campus Impact. Our goal is to provide specific tools and exercises to address all roles in the bullying cycle.
1 comment:
Susan, I like that you're focusing on the 90% silent majority. Therre was a PD article recently about one school that trained kids to be "Defenders" of targets of bullying. It made bullying almost obsolete there, and taught students that it was cool to speak up. Patti
Post a Comment