For readers of my Communication Tip Sheet, scroll down for the debrief:
What you focus on expands. This is especially apparent when we’re upset with someone. It’s as if we put on glasses that filter out everything but annoying traits that we compile to make our (distorted) case.
Instead, what would happen if we focused on what’s going right, or solutions versus problems? This does not mean problems should be ignored. It’s important we acknowledge situations that need to be changed. But, the only way change comes is by focusing on it.
We are constantly blocking out helpful information because we are so focused on supporting our pre-determined story. Test yourself. Watch this video of students playing basketball and count the number of times the white-shirt team passes the ball. IMPORTANT: Watch the video before reading any further!
DEBRIEF: When you were busy counting the number of passes, did you notice the person dressed in a gorilla suit enter the picture? After beating his chest several times, he exits. If you did, congratulations! Most people miss the whole thing.
If right now you're saying, "What gorilla?" Watch it again! Then look around. What else might you be missing?
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