Living a 3D Life

What if you went to the movies, and it was YOUR life showing on the big screen? Would it be two or three dimensional? What makes a three-dimensional picture so cool is the addition of depth. Both in movie making and life, adding depth takes a lot more time and work. It’s costlier upfront, but has the potential of a big payoff.

Movies in 3-D involve you in the experience versus allowing you to be a spectator. Ever feel like you’re removed from life, watching from a distance? Fear, pain, and guilt separate us from a deeply lived life, but they don’t have to. No more skimming the surface in 2011! Tips on adding dimension to your life are included in my upcoming January (free) E-Zine. Sign up to receive it here and check out past tips.

A Year of Firsts

If you've suffered a loss this year, holidays or special occasions can be especially emotional since they are the first ones without your loved one. The initial loss is hard, sometimes a shock. But then the year unfolds and the impact of that person's absence becomes more concrete.

After losing my Dad in April, my year started with Father's Day, then came his birthday, Thanksgiving, and now Christmas. My year of firsts won't be completed for another six months. If you have a similar experience, here are a few tips to ease the pain:

Honor the Whole Story. When you think of the person you lost, remember their whole life, not just their death. In grief, we often limit our focus to a difficult ending rather than acknowledging better times.

Start a New Tradition. Your loved one may have been central to a holiday tradition making it painful for you to carry it out. Instead, start a new tradition that honors that person's memory, but gives you a way to move forward.

Keep Talking. It's healthy to keep talking fondly about the person you miss, noting what he or she taught you, what would make him laugh, or how she would have reacted to something. They are alive in your heart and woven into your story as long as you keep them present.

Find Community. Deep periods of grief can keep you socially isolated, afraid of getting too close to anyone and getting hurt again by loss. Protecting yourself in that way actually hurts more. All of us will suffer loss. It's possible to find great comfort knowing someone else understands our pain. Reach out to friends, church community groups, or grief support groups.

Share the Lesson. While there is sadness in loss, that's not where your story is meant to end. If your loved one was meaningful to you, then there are lessons from their passing that you're meant to learn and share. The purpose of death is to remind us how to live.

For more support, here are two resources I recommend:

Building Resiliency: 68 Coping Strategies for Surviving & Thriving During Adversity

Bouncing Forward: How to Respond Positively to Life's Challenges

Save the Drama For Your Mama

Oh the drama of school girls on winter break! Parents of daughters, be prepared for the possibility of friendship blowouts over the next two weeks. Girls are desperate to stay connected and without school contact, they'll be online and texting more. No one wants to be left out of the loop. Girls who didn't secure get-togethers over the break start to feel lonely and socially isolated. I'll be on Cleveland's WKYC TV tomorrow (12/23) during Good Company (10-11 am) with advice for parents in this situation. Meanwhile, for immediate help, be sure and check out my Facebook Fan Page for a ONE DAY offer. If you have a daughter, you don't want to pass this up!

Time Management Doesn't Exist

There's no such thing as time management. No matter what you do, you still have 24 hours each day, just like everybody else. Forget claims of "squeezing one more hour" into your day. The more you focus on manipulating the clock, the more frustrated you'll become. Here's what you do have: SELF management. You have control over the choices you make within that 24 hours.

We often blame "time" for "getting away from us," when the truth is, we got away from ourselves. Use the time you do have to clarify your values, then support them with behavior. The more streamlined you become in what's important to you, the less distracted you'll become when it comes to fitting it in.

What if you organized your day based on energy management? In other words, you scheduled things that take energy, but also activities that give you energy. That decision alone can lead to improved self management!

If you want to attain this level of clarity in your life and aren't sure how to get there, personal coaching can help. Investing in your personal growth - now that's a good use of time!

Problems Don't Lead to Solutions

Imagine you were lost and asked someone for directions. What if the person replied, "I can tell you how to get there, but first, tell me everywhere you've been so far." Crazy, right? The same philosophy applies when we endlessly examine our problems looking for solutions. In most cases the problem has nothing to do with the solution! If you ask a person what's wrong and what they want to happen, you will receive two different answers.

As a counselor, if I ask a fighting couple what's wrong, believe me, they will have no trouble filling an hour with complaints! But, if I ask what they want, the answers usually include improved communication, respect, validation, and trust. What a difference!

So, are you problem or solution-focused? What do you find yourself talking about most? To move in a forward direction, ask yourself these questions:

1. What's going right?
2. What do I want more of?
3. When are the times my problem is less intense or absent? How can I create more of those moments?

Overflow

I was honored to be the keynote speaker for this year's Caregiver Advocacy luncheon in Marietta, OH. Non-paid caregivers are usually family members who are called on to provide 24/7 care for someone whose health has declined. It can be for a spouse, parent, or ill child. It is selfless work and a story close to my heart since my father was forced into that role in 1977.

In April of that year, my mother had a massive stroke leaving her in a vegetative state. I was 12, and although I helped out, my father shouldered the brunt of the responsibility. When he vowed to stay married through, "better or worse," he meant it. The experience shaped my life and provided many lessons that I was able to share with those honored yesterday.

The hardest thing to do is to convince a caregiver to take care of him or herself. Caring for others must come from our overflow, created when we invest in those things that fill us up. The mistake is dipping into our reserves until our bucket is completely empty. It's too easy for feelings of anger and resentment to seep in. One can start thinking and acting like a victim.

The only anecdote to the empty bucket syndrome is to realize that filling yours is not selfish, but necessary! Start by engaging in those activities that give you energy. Examples include attending church, doing something creative, building, exercising, reading, socializing, gardening, cooking for fun, and journaling. Learn to PLAY again. Laughter is a sure sign that you're hitting the overflow point and can start filling the bucket of others.

Thank you to my father, Dick St.John, for the many lessons shared during his 82 years, particularly the 13 spent selflessly taking care of my mother.

Give Gifts that Keep On Giving

What do you give someone who has everything? How about an investment in that person's future success? Yes, it's possible to give a very meaningful, personalized, environmentally-sensitive gift with one click of your mouse. AND as it should be with all good giving, you receive something in return too!

Here's the offer you can't pass up: Give your special someone a Personal Coaching Session. If they live outside of NE Ohio, the session can be held by phone. When you place your order, you'll receive your choice of one of my E-Seminars at no additional charge! That's a $25 value in addition to finding the perfect gift for that hard-to-shop-for person.

If YOU are the special person you're thinking of, go right ahead! Order a coaching session for yourself and you'll still receive the E-Seminar.

Have a lot of people to shop for? Don't forget my other Holiday Offer! Order 25 or more Tips Booklets (at $2.50 each) and receive your choice of a free E-Seminar!

Hurry - both offers end December 23.

Happy Holidays!

Give it Away

I'm a huge fan of Panera Bread. Since the restaurant is close to my counseling office, I eat lunch there often. Even my 11-year-old daughter is hooked on their Black Bean Soup. But really, the reason she loves Panera is the free bread samples. If you've ever visited Panera, you know what I'm talking about. As soon as you walk in the door, there's the basket of samples. It's the next best thing to sliced bread: FREE sliced bread!



This is a brilliant marketing move and one we should all follow. As soon as patrons walk in the door, they get something. They're happy customers! They didn't have to jump through hoops, sign up for a credit card, or become a "loyal" customer before receiving something. And, the sample teaches them about what Panera has to offer.

In a tough economy, we're often reluctant to give away our product or service. This is not the time to act stingy! If you fear that giving something away means you have less to sell, then you're in the wrong field. One sign that you're using your strengths is that you have an abundance of ideas and products to offer. Share the overflow with those you are meant to serve. It's the best marketing you'll ever do - plus it's the right thing to do.

On that note, have you checked out my free E-Seminar? Just click on the link for a 30-minute podcast and workbook download. Easy. While you're at it, sign up for my free monthly E-Zine, Communication Tip Sheet. You'll also find my free video tips posted on YouTube, with more to come.

And, how about this holiday offer? Purchase 25 or more of any tips booklet and receive a 60-minute E-Seminar of your choice for FREE! That's a $25 value!
Tips booklets make fantastic stocking stuffers or a business Thank You with value. Add one of your business stickers to the front or inside cover for a customized message. Then, educate yourself with a free E-Seminar of your choice! Place your online order for 25 or more tips booklets and I'll contact you personally for your bonus E-Seminar download. Hurry, offer ends December 23!

Now, what are YOU going to give away today?

Long-Term Success

Our team staying warm just before running their path to success!

"I did it!" Eleven-year-old Shanna was beaming at her accomplishment. She had just finished her first 5K along with 200 other local girls from Girls on the Run. I had the privilege of running/walking along side of her in Sunday's Cleveland Fall Classic. We were surrounded by 1,000 other runners, but all that mattered for me was that Shanna cross that finish line. It helped when she saw her family in the home stretch, cheering her on with pride. She got a burst of energy, we held hands, and she sprinted to the end.

Our team trained 10-weeks for this moment. For most of these girls, it is the biggest goal they've ever achieved. Children today don't often have the opportunity of completing a long-term goal. We've set them up for instant gratification, so if rewards aren't paid off in minutes, they're off to something else. Yet it is in the working and earning for a goal over time where confidence is built.

You better believe these girls made their parents proud on Sunday. But, more importantly, these girls were proud of themselves.

Follow This Recipe

Backstage with Guy Fieri

There are thousands of chefs in the world, so what makes Guy Fieri stand out? It's more than his spiked, blonde hair. I met Fieri backstage at Cleveland's Fabulous Food show and watched his show. He's passionate and energetic on and off stage. He has what the producers of all successful Food Network shows want: personal stories.

This is a recipe for success we all need to follow. Whatever your profession, I guarantee you, thousands of others do the exact same thing. On paper, you're forgettable. The only thing that makes any of us stand out is our personal perspective shared through stories.

Guy's prep food fridge also included personal stories...

The best stories come from living a full life. Break out of what everyone else is doing and go explore your passions. Develop your interests and hobbies. Learn something new, meet new people, observe your world. These are the things that make you unique! Anyone worried about job security or how to stand out in an interview needs to remember what Guy Fieri knows: no one can compete with your personal perspective.

Sous chefs prepping behind the stage of the Fabulous Food Show.
Prep your "show" by developing stories from your life.

Everyone has a story! Make the most of yours.

How is Stress Different from Depression?

Are you stressed or depressed? It can be hard to tell. The symptoms can appear very similar and at times, co-mingle, but there are some stark differences. Namely, in stressful situations, you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. But, depression is far more pervasive. It can feel like there's nothing that you, or anyone else can do to lift the dark cloud.

Tough economic times combined with the winter blahs and the upcoming holiday season may leave you feeling overwhelmed. If you're concerned for yourself, or someone else in your life, here are the signs to watch for:

Symptoms of Stress	Symptoms of Depression
Disrupted sleep cycle Disrupted eating patterns Physical ailments Loss of memory/hair Extreme behavior Negative impact on relationships	Experienced for at least two weeks or longer Persistent, sad, anxious, empty mood Feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, guilt Loss of interest in things that used to be fun Disrupted sleep/eating cycles Lack of concentration Thoughts of suicide

More Facts about Depression

• According to the National Institute of Mental Health, major depressive disorder affects approximately 14.8 million American adults, or about 6.7 percent of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year.
• Highly treatable with professional help! The most successful treatment results include talk therapy, and in some cases, medication in combination. Anti-depressants can provide a window of opportunity to change behavior, but a pill alone will not change negative thought patterns.
  
• Take the National Mental Health Association’s online depression screening at http://www.depression-screening.org
• Contact your Employee Assistance Program or Insurance Company for help finding a qualified mental health provider. If you live in NE Ohio and would like to schedule an appointment with Susan Fee, call Lakeshore Educational & Counseling Services at 800-600-5327.
  

Run Like a Girl!

You know that feeling you get when you achieve a BIG goal? Part disbelief, part celebration, part panic because now you need a new goal? Well, I'm still riding high on that feeling after completing my first marathon in Akron, Ohio in 5:21.

I ran in memory of my father, who died on April 18th. The last time I spoke with him was by phone three days earlier, on my 46th birthday. He called to wish me a good day, but in retrospect, I understand he was calling to say, goodbye. At the moment he called, I was standing in the bookstore with a marathon training guide in my hand. We discussed my goal and he offered his enthusiastic support, as always. I couldn't think of a better way to honor his life than to dedicate this moment to him. I ran it just the way he'd want me to: smiled the entire time, greeted and thanked all the supporters along the way, and appreciated my finish no matter how long it took me.

So this one's for you, Dad! Thanks for encouraging me to live life to the fullest, and may this serve as inspiration to others to do the same.

Standing with my 11-year old daughter at the start. After telling her that it would take me at least five hours to finish, she asked, "What are you going to do for five hours?" Ha! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other...

20 miles in. Hurting, but still smiling!

Take Back Your Lunch

How did you spend your last lunch hour? Were you hovered over your desk, scarfing food down in ten minutes? Maybe you skipped it altogether. Any chance, you took a break from work, ate something nutritious and took a short walk? According to author Tony Schwartz, the last option is unlikely. He says we skip lunch to be more productive, but the result is just the opposite.

I've been a fan of Schwartz's work since he wrote The Power of Full Engagement. Now he has a new book called The Way We're Working Isn't Working in which he continues his agenda of teaching readers how our minds and bodies really operate. In short, working harder does not equal better work.

His research supports other current findings about how to optimize brain power (check out Brain Rules by John Medina). Both authors note that our bodies have a natural cycle that makes us tired between 1-3 PM each day. That is so true for me! The remedy? Take a cat nap -and yes - there are companies that actually supply and promote sleeping pods so employees can recharge. Since I'm self-employed, I can take a nap whenever I want, and most days I grab some shut-eye sometime during this window. I don't feel lazy or guilty at all. To me, it's crazy that we have access to amazing details about how our brain functions, and then we ignore all the findings with old habits.

Schwartz tried to start a movement this summer to get people to take back their lunch hour. It was a clever way to promote his book, but it's also a good idea. Be brave! Take a stand. Or, a nap.

Nightmare Roommates!

Thinking about saving a few bucks by taking in a roommate? Or, maybe you have a son or daughter heading off to college and you're worried about who the roommate may be? Check out this article on MSN Real Estate, Nightmare Roommates for tips from my book, My Roommate is Driving Me Crazy!

BOOMERANG KIDS

When adult children move back home, it’s tough for everybody. If all goes well, your children act responsibly and are grateful for your help in getting them back on their feet. The key phrase is, “back on their feet.” In other words, the idea is that their time home is limited and they are doing all they can to return to the real world of independence. It’s when the opposite happens that a different type of help may be necessary.

Yesterday on Good Company, I discussed what to say if your adult children have turned into freeloaders. Watch the video here. It’s hard and disappointing because no parent wants to believe their children would take advantage of them, but some do. If that’s your situation, here’s an example of a conversation you must have with your son or daughter:

“I love you so much and I know you want to live on your own. I want that for you too. I realize I’ve been holding you back by doing too much for you. Because I believe you’re capable, I’m going to help you differently than I have in the past. I’m giving you a clear deadline in moving out (or other requirements like rent). If you’re not ready to meet these requirements, I trust you’ll find a different place to live at that time.”

Remember, when you do for your children what they should be doing for yourself, you’re reinforcing the message that you don’t believe they are capable.

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MODEL MOMENT

In 1978, all the boys I had crushes on had one of two posters in their lockers: Farrah Fawcett and Cheryl Tiegs. I was already a gawky middle schooler with braces, glasses, and greasy skin so these constant reminders of the ideal body did nothing for my self-esteem.

Imagine my surprise when I learned that THE Cheryl Tiegs was booked as a guest on the Q104 morning show in Cleveland the week I was filling in as co-host. Talk about intimidating! But, guess what? Tiegs is now 60-some, and she was about to see one of her sons graduate from high school. We talked about parenting, how to manage your hair in humidity, and what she thought of reality TV.

I was pleased to see she has allowed herself to age naturally, without any apparent plastic surgery or botox. You don't get many chances in life to re-do a 7th grade horror story, but this one turned out just fine!

ECUADOR: FROM PAGE TO PURPOSE

Reading can take you places you've never been before, or inspire you to go exploring for yourself. My trip to Ecuador began by reading about someone else's adventure. Rita Golden Gelman is the author of, Tales of a Female Nomad. She wrote about visiting the Galapagos Islands - a place I had never considered visiting before I sat down on a snowy December day and began reading.

With the help of two separate tour companies, Boundless Journeys (Galapagos Island tour) and Rustic Travel (volunteer vacations), I found myself on a plane to South America four months later. Here's a sampling of what I saw:

The obligatory "equator" picture (although researchers have now discovered the true equator line is several yards from here). I'm proud of this picture because of the two buses I took to get to this spot, despite not speaking any Spanish.

View from a tram ride in Quito, the capital of Ecuador. At the top, we reached 13,000 ft elevation. The view was amazing, but even more amazing was watching some rogue mountain bikers (with no helmets) ride their bikes down this mountain!
Each of the Galapagos Islands has completely different terrain and wildlife. One of the best hours I spent was with my daughter, here, watching sea lions surf. It was truly mesmerizing.
One of the islands we toured had so many iguanas, you had to work very hard not to step on them while walking. It felt like the Land Before Time.
We stayed with a host family while in Quito. Here's their daughter, Maria - a real life
Dora the Explorer!

Volunteering at an orphanage. These kids were adorable and so appreciative.

Dental care is so important for good health.
Here, the kids brush their teeth and spit on the ground.

Nap time.

G-MAN

In loving tribute to my father, Charles Richard St. John, who died April 18, 2010. This was first published in Chief of Police Magazine. To read the entire essay, click on the link below.


The first time I ever saw my dad cry, I was eight years old. It was Father’s Day. I had made sandwich boards out of construction paper tied with yarn and placed them over the backs of our two unwilling toy poodles, Muffy and Paddy. One sign read HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! The other announced PRESENTS ON THE COUCH! I opened the door to the bedroom where he was sleeping and shoved in the message mules with clear instructions to prance in front of him. Instead, they immediately scurried under the bed and ruined the whole grand parade. I don’t remember the present I gave my dad, but it made him cry. This fascinated and scared me at the same time. I had never seen my father cry before. I didn’t know he could. Whenever I cried, he would hold me, and I would breathe in his scent, a mixture of Aqua Velva aftershave and Brylcreme. His brown eyes would meet mine, and he’d stare into a miniature version of his own face. I felt safe. But he seemed too big for me to hug him like that, so I didn’t know what to do. Finally, I asked what was wrong. “You make me so happy,” he said.

I’ve seen my dad cry only four times since: when I was 16 and planned a surprise birthday party for him, when my mother died, when I got married, and the last time in the middle of dinner while he was telling a story about work. That time he cried the most. Each time this took me by surprise just like the first time. He seemed to be caught off guard too. It’s rare to catch an F.B.I agent with his guard down. Read more (Under Features/Essays).

Standing with my Dad just before getting to ride in the Good Year Blimp, a goal he had ever since childhood. I was so happy to help him achieve it at age 82!

SELF CARE REFORM

While much has been said regarding health care reform, I want to promote self care reform. Take the government out of this for a moment. What are you doing to gain or maintain your good health? This is much different than asking what will you do if or when you get sick.

We have solid research that supports that eating nutritionally sound food, exercising daily, sleeping 6-8 hours a night, managing stress, and maintaining healthy relationships will keep us healthy. Yet, few people follow this preventative prescription. What if doctors and mental health professionals were used more for maintaining health versus crisis management? I look forward to the day when I work in a health care system and not a sickness maintenance system.

As a counselor, I for one would like to do a lot more work in empowering people to gain and maintain health! Let's get proactive versus reactive. It costs less and you'll feel a whole lot better. Remember, if you're down - you're not out! Learn more about how to Bounce Forward.

HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT

I just learned of an interesting program being offered in Brecksville (OH) this week called, "Hidden in Plain Sight." If you're the parents of teens, it might be a very worthwhile evening! Here are the details:

This is an interactive workshop that walks a parent through a life-size replica of a teenager’s bedroom, discussing high risk indicators such as substance abuse, underage drinking, eating disorders, and many others.

When: March 23, 2010

Time: Come early (6:30 pm) and take a walk through the interactive sample bedroom

Parents: The parent program begins at 7:00 pm and lasts until 8:30 pm

Teens: A separate youth program will be offered for teens who attend with their parents

Where: Brecksville United Methodist Church

65 Public Square

Brecksville, OH 44141

WISE ADVICE

"Problems do not go away. They must be worked through or else they remain, forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit."

M. Scott Peck, psychiatrist and author of the best-selling "The Road Less Traveled."

PURPOSE OF DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIPS

In his book, "The Purpose Driven Life," author Rick Warren writes about the purpose of relationships: Isolation breeds deceitfulness; it is easy to fool ourselves into thinking we are mature if there is no one there to challenge us. Real maturity shows up in relationships.

How true! Often I hear from clients who have been hurt by others that they intend to heal their wounds by going into solitude. They don't want to be committed to anyone or anything so that they don't get hurt. Yet, relationships teach us about US. We can't learn such lessons by flying solo through life.

If you have a difficult person in your life right now and you feel like running, WAIT! Perhaps that person is in your life to teach you a valuable lesson about you. If you're not sure how to manage the relationship, I've developed a new resource for you. In my new e-seminar, Dealing with Difficult People: How to Protect Yourself From Professional Button Pushers, you'll learn how to set healthy boundaries, determine when to speak up (or not), and what to say. Living in isolation may be easier, but it's not the answer.

CONVICTION

I find Will Smith's passion infectious. My husband had a chance to interview him in person for his radio show and said the man lights up the room with positive energy, which is his intention.

Here's a video montage of Will Smith Wisdom. My question is not whether or not you agree with him, but rather, are you this clear on what you stand for? Can you state your own beliefs and values with the same level of conviction? Living your life on and with purpose starts with knowing what beliefs are guiding you on the deepest level.

MARATHON MILESTONE

I've committed to running a marathon by actually signing up. On September 25, 2010 I'll be running in the Road Runner Akron (OH) Marathon. Now, I'm sharing my goal publicly- there's no going back now! Feel free to ask me how my training is going (which includes keeping away from the sweets I love).

The registration was interesting because it asked me to predict my completion time. By being forced to put in the number, I was setting expectations for myself. The first expectation is that I will finish, and the second is the time in my head. Now I have a self-imposed goal to meet and or beat!

On February 12, I'll be attending a lecture at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. Steve Win is the speaker. He's a 50-state and 7-continent marathoner. Talk about goal setting. After completing his first two marathons, he learned he had cancer. Wow. Stories like his remind me that I have no reason in the world not to get up every day and live life to the fullest.

Have you run a marathon? I'd love to hear about your experiences. Please share your thoughts on my blog!

MIKE WALLACE'S DEPRESSION STORY

Thank you to 60 Minutes reporter Mike Wallace for sharing the most powerful story he has ever reported - that of his 20-year battle with depression. PBS just wrapped up a series on mental health in which Wallace and his wife Mary are interviewed (link below).

His story will be helpful to many in multiple ways. First, he's honest about how bad it got. He contemplated and attempted suicide. His wife Mary found him and helped saved his life. Wallace discusses how both drug and talk therapy helped pull him through his illness. As a mental health counselor, I can't emphasize this point enough. Medication can give you a window of opportunity, but does not help you change your behavior. Wallace states how important regular exercise and social contact (behavioral changes) have helped him stay symptom-free for the last 15 years.

Mary Wallace, his wife, also shares how difficult it is to be the spouse of a person who is suffering from any mental illness and she gives great advice: "It's not your fault. Go get help yourself."

Here's the video link: Mike Wallace on Depression. If you or someone you care about is experiencing what feels like a dark, inescapable cloud please, watch this story and then get help. Depression is treatable! To learn more about the signs of depression, visit http://www.depression-screening.org.

PERCEPTION

PERCEPTION . . . Something To Think About. . .

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule. 4 minutes later: The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk. 6 minutes: A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again. 10 minutes: A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly. 45 minutes: The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32. 1 hour: He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition. No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100. This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: *In a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? *Do we stop to appreciate it? *Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context? One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made. How many other things are we missing?